NOTE: This is part one of a post I published on my old blog back in 2014 but I thought that it was worth sharing again now my new blog. This post really means a lot to me because it captures the journey of my very first pregnancy and I hope that you will enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed writing it!
Part One: The decision that would profoundly change everything! Including me...
“Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain—your life will never be the same.”
– Catherine Jones
“Have a baby”, they said.
“It’s amazing and wonderful”, they said.
I believed them and that’s where this story begins.
About four months into married life, hubby and I decided to have a baby. That’s right, four months in and we came to the conclusion that we not only wanted but were ready to have a baby. After all we both felt like we had had such a smooth transition into married life and financially we were in the position where we could support having a child so we thought: “Hey, why not have one?”
We really didn’t have to try for long although we had one false alarm along the way and oh, how that made me cry! But once I recovered we figured that if God had a baby for us He’d give it to us in due time.
As it would turn out, “in due time” was June, 13th, 2013.|
I was late – and not for work!
Now, we needed to make sure that what we were thinking was accurate, so we first tried doing several home pregnancy tests. I say “several” because the first one didn’t work! The second one didn’t really show much and with the third one, we thought we saw the double line which means you’re pregnant, but we still weren’t sure. So, we went and had a blood test done.
I remember us having to wait for about two hours for the result of the blood test to come through – we went to the mall in order to pass the time but I felt like we had been waiting forever! Finally, it was time to go and pick up the results from the hospital. I remember telling myself to act normal and to play it cool no matter what the outcome was, but on the inside, I was so nervous and scared! I kept thinking to myself:
“What if this is another false alarm?
What if we can’t actually have kids but just didn’t know it yet?
What if I’m actually, really pregnant…with twins!
Or triplets! Or QUADRUPLETS!
Oh my goodness, I think I can’t breathe! And why is it so hot in this place? I mean, hellooo, have you people never heard of air-con before? And my hands, why are they shaking? Are my palms sweaty? I think I can’t feel my legs!
Is that my breathe that smells or is there really a funny odour in the air?
Anyways, while I was busy having this internal meltdown, my body graciously took control of matters. Of their own accord, my legs steadily walked up to the counter where the woman had my results; my mouth curved into a smile and said:
Us in our B.B. days - "Before Baby" days.
This was the last vacation we were on before finding out we were expecting. Actually, at the time these pictures were taken, I was already pregnant even though we didn’t know it yet.
“Hello, I am here to pick up the results of my pregnancy test.”
When the kind lady handed the paper over to me, my mouth maintained its smile as my lips formed the words:
My hand reached out to receive the paper from her, flipped it over and my eyes immediately rested on the place that read: “Pregnancy screen. Result: Positive.”
The world froze.
I am pregnant.
I. Am. Pregnant.
OH MY GOODNESS, I AM PREGNANT!
I turned around to face my husband and told him we were having a baby. It almost felt as if someone else had spoken those words. He smiled the dashing smile that had caught my attention a year earlier and then he gave me a big, warm bear-hug. I remember vaguely hearing the voice of the lady at the counter say her congratulations and I think I thanked her as we were leaving.
Walking to the car park, neither of us said anything. We simply walked side by side with his arm around my shoulders and my arm around his waist. I remember looking over at my him as he looked over at me and we both just smiled.
In my mind, I pictured a scenario where I’d be at the mall sporting an awesome baby bump. And as I made my way past the masses, I would say:
“Excuse me. Sorry. Soon to be first time Mom coming through.
Oh, sorry Mam…mind the the bump.”
In my mind’s eye, I was going to be the glowing picture of pregnancy.
I was going to be that woman we see on pregnancy adverts – long flowing hair floating about me. Soft light shining on me as I rested my hands on the swollen abdomen which encased new life within me.
Yes, this was going to be amazing! We are having a baby! We are starting a family!
And we are about to endure one of the toughest trials we have faced yet.
It all began when I was about five weeks pregnant. It was winter time and both hubby and I had gotten sick – although Kirk had gotten the worst of it. We took ourselves to hospital and got the appropriate medication we each needed. One of the side effects of the antibiotics I was on was nausea, so when I began feeling sick, I attributed it to the medication.
You see up until that point, I was doing fine – no morning sickness, no weird cravings, no nothing. I was cruising and feeling like this pregnancy thing was a breeze. I knew that all of these symptoms existed by I hadn’t been having them so, obviously I would be fine, right? Well, when I finished the meds and the nausea didn’t subside, it’s needless to say that I wasn’t impressed!
If only we had known that this was only the beginning sign that things were going to go from bad to worse!
And then from worse to worst!
By the time the weekend of my sixth week of being pregnant had rolled around, we had discovered the hard way that I was suffering from all day sickness and I was throwing up anywhere between three to five times on a good day! Add to that the fact that smells made me sick, food made me gag because things tasted jolly strange and I also couldn’t stand to drink water unless it was ice cold!
And they say pregnancy lasts 40 weeks!!!
So much for this pregnancy thing being a breeze!
The glowing picture os pregnancy...?
Wild hair. Still in bed. Dressed in PJ’s. Hugging a teddy bear. The glowing picture of pregnancy?
"I found myself asking the "why me" question. I mean, there are countless women in the world who are able to be carry a child without having the amplified discomforts that I was experiencing so, why me? This question was slowly beginning to eat away at me and when I would hear of women who actually enjoyed being pregnant, I would roll my eyes!"
Now in case you’re wondering why I didn’t try all the well known morning sickness home remedies like ginger tea; ginger ale or ginger sweets; peppermint tea; crackers; plain toast or acupressure bracelets, I’m here to tell you that I did try all of those things and more…AND NONE OF THEM WORKED!
Did I get momentary relief?
Was the relief permanent?
It honestly felt like nothing we did worked and we literally tried everything, no matter how outrageous or crazy. The constant nausea was my daily companion and it felt like it would never end! I began wondering how woman from previous generations were able to bare this madness.
And I also often thought of Eve.
Yes, Eve. You know, the first woman in the Bible. Yes, well my mind kept going to her and I would catch myself thinking:
“EVE! How could you? This is all your fault! If only you had left that fruit alone, I would not be lying on this bed feeling sick as a dog right now! Why, Eve?
I also thought that I finally understood what the Bible meant when it said that women would bare children with pain.
But wait – didn’t that only refer to birth pains? Besides, there are epidurals for that kind of thing so we should be in the “all clear” here, right? But morning sickness? Dear Bible, you said NOTHING about morning sickness!
"You see, I am a very independent and strong-willed woman. I have a mind of my own and I tend to be serious, no nonsense, focused and determined. I like being able to do things my way - not because I think that I am better than anyone, but simply because I feel like if I can do things how I see them, then I never really have to come to anyone for help. And if I don't have to come to anyone for help, then I don't need to rely on anyone and that therefore does away with the possibility of me being let down and disappointed by anyone. So now, having to deal with a pregnancy that was difficult and made me heavily dependant on others...well, that didn't really sit too well with me. It made me realise that I am vulnerable and frail and that I cannot do things on my own. And I did not like that realisation one bit!"
I found myself asking the “why me” question. I mean, there are countless women in the world who are able to be carry a child without having the amplified discomforts that I was experiencing so, why me? This question was slowly beginning to eat away at me and when I would hear of women who actually enjoyed being pregnant, I would roll my eyes!
Random aside: I don’t how you can enjoy smelling everything within a 10km radius from you – including body odour! Having crazy acid reflux every time you eat; intense back pain from carrying a growing human in your body and wetting yourself every time you cough, sneeze or laugh to hard!
No joke! That really happens.
It’s called “Stress Incontinence” and it’s caused by hormones that are present in a woman’s body when she is pregnant. These hormones cause all ligaments to loosen so that the baby can pass through the birth canal located in the pelvic region. These hormones also cause the pelvic floor muscles to weaken which basically means that bladder control flies out of the window!
So, the next time you see a pregnant woman cough, sneeze or laugh…
I promise you that I’m not trying to be gross! This really does happen. It’s part of the T’s & C’s of being pregnant.
Back to what I was saying about women enjoying being pregnant – it would turn out that I am not such a woman.
Not by a long shot!
As I was going through this gruelling pregnancy week by week, we came to discover that the extreme morning sickness I was experiencing is called Hyperemisis Gravidurum.
It’s a rare condition that affects only 1% of pregnant women like Kate Middleton and myself and it literally means “severe vomiting and sickness.
And boy, is it severe!
It got so bad that at some stage I began throwing up blood.
My heart sank when I saw that! The first time it happened, I remember thinking to myself: “And now what is going on?I also remember praying to God and saying to Him: “Lord, I’m already contending with so much already! I’m suffering from all day “morning sickness” as well as severe pelvic pain to the point where some days I can’t even walk properly – if at all – because it’s so painful. And now, I’m puking blood! Can you not just give me a break? Please!”
God heard my prayers and I guess that in His greater and infinite wisdom His answer to me for that moment would be no.
And things continued going downhill.
One morning I woke up, went to use the bathroom and discovered that I was bleeding! I burst into tears right then and there and continued crying while my husband lovingly and gently got me into the car and rushed me to hospital. The nurses whisked me into ER and proceeded to run all kinds of tests on me and the baby. During the buzz of activity that surrounded me, I remember looking over to my husband and he just sat there – quiet and watchful. He would later tell me that he had been pleading with God in the secrecy of his heart that all would be well with his wife and baby.
And by God’s grace, all would be well. The baby and I were both given a clean bill of health although the cause of my bleeding was never discovered.
So when the bleeding came back a few days later, I had a total meltdown.
“Why is this happening, Lord?
Why would you give us the joy of expecting a baby only to have it end like this?
Do you hear me, Lord?
Over and over again I asked that question and I found that the answers weren’t quick in coming. So, we went through the whole process again once my husband got me to hospital – admitted; tested; medicated and finally discharged. Both baby Baskin and her mother were doing fine according to the tests. And the result of those tests began driving me crazy!
If I’m fine and healthy, then why I am I not feeling fine and healthy?
Why am I constantly sick?
Why am I throwing up blood?
Why am I having severe pelvic pain?
Why have I almost lost the baby twice?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Every doctor and specialist we would speak to wouldn’t have an answer to my questions. Instead, I was prescribed anti-depressants and painkillers after being given a lecture on how pregnancy can be a rough road and I just had to suck it up. I was having a baby and needed to stop being a baby. One gynae went as far as telling me that “being pregnant is hard and you need to accept that”.
Hearing these comments and others that were similar over and over again would lead to me becoming depressed because I felt like I was some kind of failure.
"The love that God has called my husband and I to is of the highest standard and therefore there is no room for either of us to grow lazy, complacent or flippant in it. We are called to love each other as furiously and as relentlessly as God loves each of us. So, this is what it means to say, "I do."
You see, I am a very independent and strong-willed woman. I have a mind of my own and I tend to be serious, no nonsense, focused and determined. I like being able to do things my way – not because I think that I am better than anyone, but simply because I feel like if I can do things how I see them, then I never really have to come to anyone for help. And if I don’t have to come to anyone for help, then I don’t need to rely on anyone and that therefore does away with the possibility of me being let down and disappointed by anyone.
So now, having to deal with a pregnancy that was difficult and made me heavily dependant on others…well, that didn’t really sit too well with me. It made me realise that I am vulnerable and frail and that I cannot do things on my own.
And I did not like that realisation one bit!
I fought it mentally because I couldn’t believe that I was really that needy. I was so used to be known as “the strong one” that I hadn’t actually noticed that I had let that become something that defined me.
Rachel didn’t need anyone to lean on because she had learnt the hard way that people are fallible and that if you want something done, it’s best if you can find a way to do it yourself.
Rachel could handle whatever you threw at her. She has lived through some pretty rough stuff that has made her into one tough lady.
Rachel is independent.
Rachel is capable.
Rachel is strong.”
Except, this pregnancy thing was blowing that notion right out of the window and leaving me feeling like I was going through a mid-life crisis minus the mid-life!
(I’m only 26!)
I didn’t know it back then but I see now that my sense of failure came from what I believed about me being strong and needing no one. Because I was no longer strong, capable and independent that meant that I was now weak and therefore a failure.
Misguided and false?
But nonetheless, I believed it lock, stock and barrel.
Thankfully this belief was being shaken to it’s very core because of my circumstances!
"the one where I first heard her cry did something profound and deeply spiritual to my heart. It was like that moment bonded her to me and me to her. She is my baby and I am her mother. Yes, she is bonded to me and I am to her for the rest of my life."
By the time I was 20 weeks pregnant, I was seriously considering abortion. Yes, good old me – who was born and raised in a Christian home; had been in church all my life; accepted Jesus into my heart when I was only 5 years old and tried to live according to what the Bible teaches – was not only considering an abortion but actually leaning towards it.
I felt like I had just had enough. All the nausea. All the vomiting. All the pelvic pain. All the discomfort. All of it. I just wanted to be done with all of it!
I remember the morning when I expressed these thoughts to my gynae at the time as well as my husband. We were sitting in her consultation room and she gave us the number of a doctor who dealt with terminations. My husband said nothing the whole time and when we got into the car and began driving home, he finally broke down on the highway and cried his heart out to the Lord. I was in tears too as I heard him cry:
“Lord, we are at the end of ourselves and we don’t know what to do any more. You are all we have left. We have nowhere else to go. You are all we have left!”
Seeing him so undone broke my heart and the pain it left me in made me unable to speak for a long time. All I could think was:
“Lord, do You see this? Do You see how desperate we are and yet You still do nothing? Lord, where are You in all of this?”
Well, I know that God always hears His children when they pray and that day He was still listening to us as always. As I look back on it now, I’m becoming more and more convinced that God moved in Kirk in that moment because he got the idea for us to go and visit a birthing clinic and see if they knew of a doctor that could help us. Turns out, that idea was a fruitful one as we were referred to a doctor that was able to see us within the hour. We spoke to him and described all the symptoms that I was having. He listened, he sympathised and he encouraged us. He also said that he was willing to treat me so he admitted me into hospital where he could run all manner of tests on me in order to determine what was wrong with me. I spent a total of 11 days in hospital and those 11 days where stressful but also God-sent.
It was stressful as Kirk did a lot of driving – he was at the hospital every morning before going into work for the day and sometimes he would come visit me on his lunch break. Then, he’d be back at the hospital after work and stay with me for as long as the hospital would allow before heading back home for the night. Once he’d be home, more often than not he would either text or call me and we would stay up for a few more hours just talking. Finally, when we both got tired enough to sleep, we’d say our goodbyes only to do it all over again the next day and the day after that. He selflessly and wholeheartedly demonstrated his devotion and love for me under such tough circumstances and it made me realise all over again just how lucky and blessed I am to have such a man to call my own! It also showed me that the vows I spoke at the alter weren’t child’s play and that the only way I could make good on those promises was if I allowed God to work in me as He was so clearly at work in my husband.
The bar has been set.
The standard is very high.
And it is only by God’s grace and strength that my husband and I will be able to reach them.
The love that God has called my husband and I to is of the highest standard and therefore there is no room for either of us to grow lazy, complacent or flippant in it. We are called to love each other as furiously and as relentlessly as God loves each of us.
So, this is what it means to say, “I do.”
Being in hospital also gave me time to reflect and rest while being looked after by a team of excellent professionals. We didn’t know it at the time but we were on the brink of change and this would therefore be my last hospital stay for a while.
Up until this point, I had been hospitalised intermittently and Kirk had to rush me to E.R. more times than either one of us can remember. I would have to be rehydrated via I.V. and given some medication for pain, nausea and vomiting, and then I would be sent home again.
So, here we were at 20 weeks pregnant and I am once again sitting in hospital but this time, I was feeling somewhat better. We were glad to report this change to both my family and Kirk’s family who live in Canada. They let us know that they had been praying for us and had gotten their whole church together in order to pray for Kirk, the baby and me. When I heard this, I was floored!
These people who had been praying for me didn’t even know me! They don’t even know what I look like and yet they have been interceding on my behalf!
So I guess this is what it means to be family in Christ!”
After 11 days in hospital I got discharged because all the test showed that I was healthy and my baby was fine. However, Kirk needed to take me back to hospital the evening of the same day I got discharged because I was having a bad night of throwing and being sick to the point where I passed out.
Yet another night in hospital!
The following morning when I was being discharged, the ward counsellor was doing her rounds in the ward I was in and so she had stopped to speak with me in the room that I was in. My husband was with me at the time and together we explained to her the ordeal we were going through. To this day, I am convinced that God orchestrated this encounter because not only is she a Christian but she was also able to refer us to three doctors who she personally knows have experience in dealing with and treating Hyperemisis Gravidarium. And all three doctors work at the hospital which I was about to be discharged from.
I honestly don’t think so.
Kirk got details from her concerning where in the hospital these doctors are located and then he made a mad dash to try and schedule me in to see one of them. His mission was successful because one of the doctors was taking on new patients and he was able to see me the next day.
So, off we went to see him first thing the next day and after that one consultation things really seemed to improve for us. He prescribed medication for me that helped me one hundred fold when it came to nausea and vomiting. He also took such good care of me that both my husband and I felt like our little family would be in good hands.
From that point on things seemed to have turned a corner for us. My regular visits to my gynae weren’t showing any problems and every time we went for check up, we would get to catch a glimpse of the precious miracle that was growing in my womb. It finally began feeling like the worst was behind us and we could finally begin to settle down and anticipate the joy of holding out little one in due time.
Well, all was going well until I was 34 weeks pregnant. It was a Sunday morning and we went to church. That Sunday morning, we had given two of my brothers a lift to church with us as well. As we were sitting in the service, I began feeling some pain in my abdomen. At first, it was mild but slowly began intensifying. By the time the service was done, I told my husband that I needed to get to the hospital asap! So, we dropped off my brother’s after the service and then we went to hospital.
Now this whole time I wasn’t worried because things had been going well for several weeks already. So, when we got to the hospital and they automatically admitted me I didn’t think twice about it because of two reasons:
1-This is the standard procedure of how this particular hospital works. It’s a maternity hospital and they don’t have a 24 hour emergency unit so, when you come with a problem like we did, they automatically admit you.
2-I had been admitted into hospital so many times already that I knew exactly what to expect.
Once in a hospital gown, they hooked me up to a doppler and did what is called a “Stress test” in order to determine whether or not the baby was in any distress. Again, I know this to be standard procedure so, I wasn’t troubled.
My gynae wasn’t working that weekend so he had another doctor stand in for him. I knew that the hospital would call him to inform him that I was in hospital but I honestly wasn’t expecting to see him. So after about 2 hours of being in hospital and then seeing him walk into my room in order to examine me for himself, this raised a red flag.
Why did he feel the need to come in and not send his stand in?
I was beginning to worry and finally, after a brief but through examination, it was determined that I was going into pre-term labour.
You have got to be kidding me!
Lord, if the baby is born now, she would have to spend a minimum of 6 weeks in hospital! Lord, no!
We are ready for this baby but we aren’t ready for this! Lord, please make this labour stop!
My husband and I were praying furiously while I was given steroid injections that would help develop the baby’s lungs. It was a long 24 hour episode in hospital and after being kept for another 24 hours just as a precautionary measure, I was discharged the next day. They said it was just an “irritated womb” and that I should take it super easy until I give birth. If I did that, I should be able to see out the remaining days of my pregnancy smoothly. This turned out to be the case and I was induced after 38 completed weeks of being pregnant.
Me in all of my nine month pregnant...glow!
The day before our little girl came into this world. As you can see, we are proud soon to be parents and very excited for her birth!
Early that Monday morning as we drove to hospital, we were so excited that the day had finally dawned when we would meet our little girl for the first time! This Monday was different from any other we had ever experienced before. This Monday, instead of complaining that the weekend flew by too fast and all too soon it was the start of a new week again, we were overjoyed because this week marked the beginning of a new era of our lives – the era where we would no longer simply be called “Kirk” and “Rachel” but we would now also be known as “Dad” and “Mom”. What a joy this new season of life would bring!
We had to be at the hospital at 5:30am so that the induction could begin. We were so excited that we couldn’t really sleep the night before. It was crazy to think that finally after all this time and all of the trials and troubles we had faced, we would finally get to hold our little girl before the end of the day!
We arrived at the hospital promptly and I got whisked to the room where I would be induced and labour until I would be ready to give birth. The actual induction didn’t get under way until about 8:30am. And when I was induced, I remember feeling relieved that finally I was going to do this – to give birth. I felt like I had been pregnant forever and I was ready to be done with it. I have known many women who had given birth and seen many them hold their baby in their arms and now finally, it was my turn. Oh, how I had waited for this day and finally it was here!
When the labour first began, I remember feeling pumped and energetic..and in a bit of pain. I laboured like this for a few hours until they (my gynae and the midwife at work in the labour ward) decided to up the dosage of the drug that was making me labour.
That’s when the real fireworks started going off!
The contractions where coming thick and fast and there was pain…a whole lot of pain! I wasn’t screaming or moaning – the pain was beyond my ability to cry out in it. I was sweating profusely and longing for it to be over soon. I remember thinking to myself:
“Okay Baby Baskin, you can come out into the world…NOW!”
I recalled a conversation I had had with Kirk’s grandmother via Skype a few days prior to giving birth and she had told me that I had needn’t worry because “the baby will pop right out of you.”
“Well Baby Baskin, feel free to pop on out of me any time now!”
Except, Baby Baskin didn’t pop out. Not for another 15 hours.
The time was now 10:30pm and I was exhausted! I hadn’t dilated one bit in the course of those 15 hours and yet the contractions were still coming fast and furiously leaving me weary and very emotional!
My gynae had suggested that we stop the induction and then begin again in the morning but I was honestly so tired that I didn’t know if I still had it in me to push this baby into the world. And even though they had stopped the drip that was inducing my labour, my contractions were still raining down on me with a vengeance! As much as I didn’t want to have a c-section, it steadily began to dawn on me that the procedure was my only option at this stage.
And I didn’t like it!
Don’t get me wrong, c-sections are a great thing and they aren’t any less of a birth experience than natural birth. Sometimes, these amazing operations are a life-saving intervention that allow for both mother and baby to be safe and healthy, so there is great merit behind this operation.
All that said, I still didn’t want to have a c-section. There is no big reason behind it. I just didn’t want to have one.
So, as much as I didn’t want to have the operation, I made the decision to go through with the c-section. I figured that at the end of the day, all that matters is that my baby is born safely and healthy. In making that decision I must have cried a river that evening! And I cried about everything!
How I was a failure for not having coped better during this tough pregnancy.
And now, I was in full-on labour and still not dilating.
And how I now needed had to have a c-section in order for the baby to be born. And I didn’t want to have a c-section to begin with!
Yes, I think I cried a river that evening!
My gynae came in to see me again that evening and he told me not to worry and that he would take good care of me in theatre. I feel like there was a mad flurry of activity happening around me which entailed signing forms and informing family what was happening. All the while the whole medical team that would tend to me in theatre was assembling as I was taken into theatre. That was the first time during this whole ordeal that I had been apart from Kirk.
And it was also the first time that I began feeling scared.
Kirk was told to put on scrubs and wait outside while I was being prepped for the procedure. During those minutes we spent apart, I was beginning to get nervous and fearful. As I lay on the operating table in a cold room looking up at bland ceiling, it dawned on me for the first time that throughout that entire day, Kirk had been such a support and anchor for me and now that he wasn’t close by, I realised just how much I needed him. I wanted him right there with me! I lifted my head off the table and looked around the room until my eyes rested on a nurse who was there and I asked her:
“Where is my husband?”
She responded in a calm manner that grated on my already frazzled nerves,
“Don’t worry, he will be here.”
Well, of course he’ll be here! I mean, it’s only his baby being born, right?” I thought to myself.
I asked her again where my husband was and she told me again that my husband would join me soon.
I think I must have asked her this question about another three more times, all with the same answer.
“Don’t worry, he will be here.”
And there he was right after the anaesthetist gave me the epidural.
Those things are amazing! 15 hours of hard labour was wiped away as those drugs began working their magic. It made me so happy and calm and once my husband walked into the theatre, the first thing I said was:
“I love you!
The rest of it is a bit of a blur to me but Kirk talked me through the entire birth process. He told me everything from the time the doctor made his first incision to when he could see the baby’s head to when I heard her first cry. She didn’t cry much, in fact it was more like she let out a complaint at being disturbed. But that moment, the one where I first heard her cry did something profound and deeply spiritual to my heart.
It was like that moment bonded her to me and me to her. She is my baby and I am her mother. Yes, she is bonded to me and I am to her for the rest of my life!
When the paediatrician placed her on my chest after examining her, I was mesmerized! There on my body lay the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen! She had gorgeous blue eyes and raven black hair set on porcelain white skin.
Welcome to the world sweetheart!
What a day! I think some shut eye is just what is needed.
For all those hospital trips and throwing up...and this is the end prize? Yes, she was so worth it!
"Holding my baby girl for the first time. I can't even put into words what that moment felt like!"
Only a few hours old and she is as gorgeous as ever!
And so begins life as a family of three!
We spent two days and hospital and then we were discharged. We were free to go home and get on with the rest of our lives morning sickness free!
But now the real work begins…